A new

Day 1, Dec 11,2010
I am back and I have completed a day of fasting. I am incorporating Chanting during this fast, so I can stay on track. Everytime I feel the need to eat i simple repeat Om Mani Padme Hum in my head and focus on why I am doing this.

Why am I fasting?
Health reasons
I dont want to end up with Type 2 Diabetes
I dont want to be Fat
I dont want to have any weight related illnesses
I want to be Happy in any store I shop.
I deserve a better life that what I have given myself
I need to treat this one body Better with respect and kindness
I want to help motivate others to shed the blanket of fat and live fulfilled lives, and u cant preach to the crowd being fat. U have to show results.

I hope TEMPTATION stays far away!!
Sw:292.5
CW:288
Gw:135

The EVIL sweat pants

Sweats pants are evil. Do you know why? Sweat pants are forgiving they just stretch and stretch to accommodate you ever growing girth, and before you know it You cannot fit into any of your jeans or clothes. tbc

Day One Aug 3

So far so good, but ive been down this road before. The hunger doesnt come untill about 3 pm, when it at its best. Just telling me "You Need to eat Now" , smh, as long as I can get past today,I know I will be fine. I wouldnt want to mess up an entire day, that is how my logic goes. but a few hour wouldnt mean any thing to me. However, if I think about it I already did 12 hours, so why would i want to mess up 12 hours? Well hopefully I make it today. I really need to complete this fast, in order to save myself from destruction.
oh and im starting off at 281 X_x

Fasting please

I'm trying to fast this month well untill a week before my bday. Hopefully I can start now and everything will go smoothly. When I fast I feel great, it's just getting started that's the hard part. I really hope it works starting in the AM, I really need this right now. I'll keep the blog posted everyday, that seems to be the way I can stay on track and focused. Toodles until later.

Fat?! Gross

I dont know about everyone else but I don't like Fat.I hate it actually. I don't appreciate being call "Big Girl", do you call another girl "Small Girl" or "Size 2 girl" NO, but every fat girl is called a BIG GIRL. Like BIG GIRL defines who I am, I'm Big and that's all I am. Well that stops today. I mean people say Love who u are, its about the beauty on the inside. Sure, that's all good and dandy but Fat is Gross.
You cant shop at any store you please, there is a limited supply of clothing you can choose from, People judge you based on your fatness, and its just plain old depressing at times. So Fat is GROSS.

I cant remain fat, I need to do something so I can become a Healthy Size. I always joke about becoming a size 0, but I think that would just look odd. Maybe a healthy 10 would do. that's 12 sizes to drop. I can Drop 12 sizes. Will I be happy at a 10, lets hope so, because when I get there and I still say I'm FAT, then I know its a mental thing.

You know the whole thing you eat because you're sad and you're sad because you eat. What a vicious cycle. At one point I got all my eating into control, then I got happy, started a great relationship and became comfortable, LOVE was blinding me. WELL I NEED TO PUT ON MY GLASSES AGAIN, because this isn't happening again. I need to go DOWN not up. I REFUSE to end up the 600lb freak show on the block.


I REFUSE to be BIG GIRL any longer.

so I will be starting a Fast... That is final. How many days? IDK but a Fast is definitely in need. I need to cleanse my unhealthy ways NOW.

UMMM Starting over

I have fell of the wagon and the wagon rolled over my body, my intoxicated body. I am currently at 282 smh, all that work last year to end up close to where I started. I believe I got comfortable, and now that I am in a wonderful happy amazing relationship, I do not want to get comfortable. Once that starts its an ugly fall down into the bottomless pit of unhealthy lifestyles. I think that once your happy, and a person says they love you just the way you are, How perfect you seem, that's the frame of mind that will allow you to end up weighing 600 pounds and unhappiness.

Goals:
Start my Raw Food Life Style again
Become Motivated and STAY motivated
Finally shed this security blanket,this is the last year.
Be comfortable in my own skin
Life a healthy lifestyle